Tourists… 1906.

[Found under: "TOWN TALK"]

One of my Southern California friends here with the party of editors had a very amusing experience with a native waiter in a restaurant into which she had dropped for lunch. She saw the brown son of the islands coming and she nerved herself for the ordeal. She consulted her souvenir program and running over the list of translated words she finally found and said “Pa-Hay-Oe.”

“Maikai no” replied the man with a smile.

The young lady then attempted to find the native words for “Ham and Eggs” or something to that effect—but alas they were not there. She hesitates, looked frantically around in search of some haole, and finally she though of sign language and commenced to make all sorts of passes in the air. The native stood near her her and kept shaking his head, all the time with a questioning look in his eye.

Finally the young lady said in despair, “Oh, you block head, why don’t you talk English?”

“I was about to say madam,” came the reply, “that if you would say in English what you are endeavoring to convey by means of the sign language, I would be most delighted to fill even your humblest desire.”

Then the young lady was angry. She stamped out of the restaurant and all one needs to do to court sudden death is to make a few passes like “Ham and Eggs” in the air in her presence.

(Hawaiian Star, 9/22/1906, p. 7)

The Hawaiian Star, Volume XIV, Number 4524, Page 7. September 22, 1906.